No, Not Really.

"Should I have a blog?" - Monica Milbert.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Damn The Man

"Hey, I'm Dan, an NA from floor 9, I'm supposed to work up here tonight since there are hardly any patients on 9."
"Great, youll have this side of the floor."
"Well, hang on, you see I'm not in orientation on my floor anymore, but I havent worked on this floor yet."
"So you're still in orientation?"
"No. I just havent worked on this floor yet."
"OK, well we're pretty short staffed, so why dont you just take this side by yourself tonight."
"Wait, let me see if I have this right. You want to put the guy who doesn't know what he's doing over here, alone, because its harder?"

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Can it GET any more real?

Wes: "I am no longer part of a group called 'The Seven Strangers.' I am now part of a group called 'Seven People, Who Have Had an Experience, That No One Else Can Say They Had.'"

OK so I'm sure I didn't get it exactly right, but Wes' quote is the best thing we've had since Steven's "I think I made some amazing points" in Las Vegas.

Also Inferno II is coming. Let me reapeat that. Inferno II is coming. And I'm excited. About that.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Cheer

I think we need to stop calling them "Christmas lights" and start calling them "holiday lights" so that the Jews can get with the program.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Convos and Photos with Dan and Joe in Chicago


"Why does C3PO llok so drab in this movie?"
"I dunno, he's all gold in the old ones. Maybe they pimped his droid."
"You got to PIMP MY DROID."
"Yo, check it, when 3PO came to us he was old and busted. Now check it, we gave him solid gold plating."
"And check this, now this droid can translate over SIX MILLION languages dogg!"
"And yo. When this droid came here, he was just Tom Cruise gay. Now check it. This droid is fully Liberace/Nathan Lane gay!"
"DOOOOOOPE!!!"

"What is Londo Mondo?"
"Some women's apparel store."
"We should open up Longo Mongo next door."
"Is that for tall, fat chicks?"
"Yes."

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Tre Chic

Thanksgiving in Chicago. Quite a town, with its crooked shorelines and winding roads. I guess thats howit got itsnickname. Ive also noticed thats its awfully breezy here. Maybe they should change the nickname to something like "Blusteryburg."

If today was opposite day, people would be saying "Sad Ungratefultaking." Think about it, and have a bad one.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Reunions got Class

Friday marks the first of our high school reunions. Thanks Matt. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend and see who became a fatty, which I think is really the only reason anyone goes to these things. That and of course to fail one more time at capturing your unicorn.

All of the attractive women at the hospital seem to work two floors above me. Luckily, I know someone from high school that works there. Today I found myself paying her another visit, and offering my assistance, because, as I announced to those in and some out of earshot, that helping people is what I do. That is, its what I do when I'm not being a rebel.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I don't like those I don't know

All of your driving privelleges have been revoked. All of you. All of them. Especially those of you who live in Edina, and who are under the age of 18, or over the age of 60. Which again, is all of you.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Yep. It's still cold here.

So our Scandinavian ancestors, all certainly suffering from seasonal affective, migrate from Norway and Sweden all the way across an ocean, halfway across a continent, and settle in.....Minnesota. You freaking morons. Meanwhile, several generations later, I find myself body checking my car door at 6am to break the ice so I can simply get it open. Who is more idiotic, those who came or those who stayed?
Speaking of 6am, this early wake-up is definitely curing my nasty case of stickittothemaniosis. And I don't wanna get well. I'm going to have to find a way to rebel that doesn't take a lot of energy. Maybe I'll listen to the radio really loud while I commute home. Maybe I'll even listen to rap music. With the windows down. No, its too cold. And all this loud music is giving me a headache. Anyone up for Matlock and prune juice?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Ain't No Hollaback

New Rule: When one is choosing a song to sample, one may not choose a song that has already been sampled in a hit song.

Example: Gwen Stefani sampling "Between the Sheets" by the Isley Brothers when said song was already sampled in "Big Poppa" by Christopher "Notorious BIG" Wallace.

Its been done, you jackaninny. And what's more, everyone already knows it.

Monday, November 14, 2005

The First Day of the Rest of My Life.





The Asian Beatle has totally ruined me for Ladybugs.

Oh and I started work today.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Jesus is Magic


I have not been so excited about a movie since maybe Star Wars Episode One. Hopefully I'll be far less disappointed. Check out the preview at www.jesusismagicthemovie.com. Turn down your speakers if you're at work. And do you wanna know what the best part is? He is.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

BlogJack

Seen by Kessler and Matt on the back of seat on a plane in Europe:
"Die Schwimmweste ist unter dem Sitz."
What I would love to hear from an American on the same plane:
"For the love of God, I don't speak German!! Where is my swimvest??"

Hey, anybody remember when the VP's right hand man got indicted? Shouldn't that be kind of a big deal? Oh, wait, I'm sorry, there was a bomb threat in a supermarket in Boise, I gotta go watch this...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Cherry Poppin' Entries


Gross.

So this is my first blog entry. This blog's sole purpose is to maintain an outlet while my website, www.dansignorelli.com is down. Peruse it at your leisure.

I realize this isn't really an uppidy (uppity?) subject to begin with, but allow me to prove to you all that the apocalypse draws nigh.

Lyrics to "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then DonnaKaran, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin' fly
But I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’I keep on demonstrating.
My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She’s got me spending.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
They say I’m really sexy,The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can’t touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don’t want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don’t pull on my hand boy,
You ain’t my man, boy,
I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
And move my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps [x3]
In the back and in the front.
My lovin’ got u,
She’s got me spendin’.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.(Oh)
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.
What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon’ do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I’ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin’ time on me
She’s got me spendin’.
Spendin’ all your money on me, on me, on me.

Joe called to inform me of how sad this song made him when he first heard it. When I first heard it, I found myself calling a friend from Madison to berate her, as she had told me about this "great new song." So now perhaps you better understand the picture of Frankie pissing herself, as I thought a lovely addition to my post about Frankie lyrically pissing herself.

Happy now Kessler?

P.S. please note this blog is kept on Boise time.