New article

Booger Thomas M.D. and I have a new article going on www.mypersonalproducer.com

Here is the direct link.

http://www.mypersonalproducer.com/Features/Text/TextPage.aspx?navid=73

Please bookmark it and check back often so we can become rich and famous. You'll recognize some of the material from this blog, and also there will be a sharp decline in the stuff posted here, because I want y'all clicking that link.

Still My Hero

http://www.dansignorelli.com/funtastic/damme.htm

Wow.

If you can get through this without covering your eyes at least once, you're better than me.

A Day at the Market

I went grocery shopping today. This is a time when I'm not working, paying attention to anything at all, and my mind is able to wander freely. Here are some thoughts that entered my head, and a few of the many dilemmas that I always encounter.

Danimal's yogurt was the first item I bought on price cut. Two eight-packs for five dollars. Does that mean that one is only two-fifty? It says normal price is three-thirteen. Is this all a ruse to get me to buy two when really I only need one for sweet, sweet savings?

Grocery shopping on a limited budget of both time and money is a horrible experience on many levels.

What is it about the closed-mouth tight-lipped smile that everyone dishes out like free samples in the grocery store. There is nothing as certain in the world as the fact that you will receive AND hand out this expression when you get in someone's way with your cart.

OK, maybe one thing is as certain. The old people moving slowly through the aisle asking themselves "How much dairy is too much dairy?"

I actually found myself holding two three packs of Irish Spring soap (also a price cut) asking "should I get 'Icy Blast' or 'Sport?' Well, its winter, so I guess Icy Blast would be more appropriate."

After checking out, I checked my receipt. It turns out that the single bottle of barbecue sauce I bought on price cut (3 for $3) was in fact only $1. Damn you Cub, and your clever ruse.

College, dude, college

I'm taking a class at the U as I mentioned earlier. It's good to be a college boy again. Especially because I heard that the girls here in college do it ALL THE TIME. And now this time around, I am a college man. By college man of course I mean that old guy in the big lecture hall who we all used to stare at and wonder "did that guy get into trouble at work or something?"

I never really understood how Theo was always so stupid, despite having been raised by a doctor and a lawyer. In fact, none of the kids seemed all that bright. The weirdest part? Rudy got really, really hot.

Delish

What is more delicious, the white shit inside of a Pearson's Nut Roll or the white shit inside of a Cadbury Cream Egg? I think that if someone gave me either one of these tasty treats, and told me that the white shit had been poisoned, but that the poison would not in fact affect the taste, that I would have an awfully difficult decision to make.

Gas Guzzler

Have you ever stood pumping gas into your car, watching the price of your purchase sprinting higher, and wondering where all the money is going? The answer is here, the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi. Papa S once sent me a slide show about this thing, its unbelievable. Take a look at the pictures on the website.

Brin Butch, the seven foot All-American center for the Badgers shot twice as many 3-pointers as he had rebounds in UDub's first BigTen loss this year. Stay under the basket, brah.

Especially #'s 13 and 14 at the bottom.

See Phil, I told you he was funny.

Thematic Blogging

Overheard...

Today we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest men in American history. I for one will be celebrating with a free burrito (complimentary to all hospital employees). Here is my blessing to all of you colored folk. I don't know many of you, but thanks for your enthusiasm.

Youre in to Win in Turin

I sure am excited for some more action shots of that "sassy" Sasha Cohen. I'll give her a toepick. I don't know what that meant, but you know. You know? You don't know.

Here are some links for you:
Minnesota Pride, Minnesota Politics
This is a good way for our courts to spend their time.

Iran wants nuclear power. Guess who's leading the charge in the "Lets blow up Iran" campaign? I don't think I'll ever be as afraid of another country dropping a nuke as I am afraid of this country dropping one. In fact, it seems to me that only one country in history has ever used one. Twice.

GoGoGo Joseph

"No, no, Papa Jacob, this dreamcoat you got me for Christmas is amazing, its just that I don't really have any technicolor pants to go with it."

And that, ladies and gents, was my first post from my new computer.

Untitled

What a paradoxical title. I like it. I apologize for the brief hiatus. Allow me to offer up this photograph as an olive branch. What an incredible flash in the pan. So close yet so far. There really needs to a word added to the dictionary.

"My only at-bat in the majors was a deep fly-out in the ninth inning of the World Series. It was very Guarini."

"I shouldn't be here right now. I'm feeling a little Guarini."

"I can't stop smiling, though I am aware of my impending doom. I am in a state of Guarini."

Protect this House

Matt and Kess (among many, many others) think that Gray's Anatomy is the premier medical drama out there right now. They are wrong. Not only did the last episode of House contain all the sarcastic wit one would come to expect, it also co-starred Ron Livingston, Hollywood's least objectionable actor.

Speaking of objectionable actors, Li-Lo admitted her eating disorder and drug problem, both of which she has purged from herself. That may have been the least shocking revelation in history. Less shocking than an Olsen twin dropping out of college. Less shocking than the Nick and Jessica split. Less shocking than Mel Gibson running for governor opposite Arnold. Well, OK, maybe two years ago I didnt really see that one coming. What a nut job this guy is. Maybe I'll save that for tomorrow, because that one patient is masturbating again, and its making the girl that has to sit with him uncomfortable.

Loosen up, woman, he's been here nearly two hours.

Trials of a Working Man

I have to work tonight during the Rose Bowl, and also the night of the Super Bowl. I've argued my case with staffing, to no avail, that I should get paid double time on the night of the Super Bowl, because its more celebrated than any other holiday in this country.

2005 may have been the worst year for any presidential administration ever (save 1974). Perhaps I'll compile a list of all the things they've done, but probably not because I'm at work right now, and I'd like to leave within the next few hours.

The Beginning of the End? Please??

Oh, what a tangled web he has woven. Please, please, take as many down with you as you can.

I've been told that the blog is good. The blog format is easy for many of you. I have decided to keep the blog when my website returns. It will take the place of my sociopoltical commentary ramblings. Also, I like the comments feature on this page. The site will stay up of course, and any kind of actual projects or writing will be featured on the website. I'll post here when that happens.

U-Dub. 10.5 pt underdogs, 14 pt winners. All your almas suck.